MODERN WOMAN – Benefiting or exploiting herself

From time immemorial those men who have denied the divine guidance and have made the materialism their path of life , have exploited women and have treated them like use-and-discard-objects. They have treated women as the objects of bodily enjoyments and have suppressed them in every possible way. Throughout the world, history is a witness that women have been made to suffer such abject attitude at hands of irreligious, unrighteous men. From Ancient Greek culture to Ancient India, to Pre-Islamic Arabs we find the same tale of exploitation.

The suppression of women or their exploitation in other forms is result of distance between man and divine guidance. Islam -a religion based upon the Divine Revelation, a system founded and established by the Creator of all human beings, abolished such exploitation and assigned the women a respectable , worthy status in family and society.

"The believers, both male and female, are each other's guardians. They try to make others do good, prevent them from committing sins, perform their prayers, pay the religious tax, and obey God and His Messenger. God will have mercy on them; He is Majestic and All-wise (9:71)

Though this verse is all about the duties of the believing people, I would like to bring to your notice that the duties bestowed are irrespective of gender. The equality between men and women is clearly established here.

"Verily for all men and women who have surrendered themselves unto God, and all believing men and believing women, and all truly devout men and truly devout women, and all men and women who are true to their word, and all men and women who are patient in adversity, and all men and women who humble themselves before God, and all men and women who give in charity, and all self-denying men and self-denying women, and all men and women who are mindful of their chastity, and all men and women who remember God unceasingly: for all of them has God readied forgiveness of sins and a mighty reward."- 33:35.

It is said that, after the return from Abysinia, Asma wife of Jafar Tayyar, wondered as to why there was no particular mention about women in the Quran so far revealed, then this verse was revealed. The revelation of this verse clearly indicates that Islam provides equal place for both men and women. Nowhere does it say that women should be suppressed by men or men are the masters of women.

………….. And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise. – 2:228.

This verse clearly indicates that the rights of men and women are equal. And to understand the second part of the verse , “and men are a degree above them” let us go through the complete verse.

Women who are divorced shall wait, keeping themselves apart, three (monthly) courses. And it is not lawful for them that they should conceal that which Allah hath created in their wombs if they are believers in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands would do better to take them back in that case if they desire a reconciliation. And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise.

In this verse, the word mentioned, Quru means menstrual period. The divorced woman is required to keep herself in waiting for three menstrual periods, during which the husband has to support and care for her. In the course of these three months, if it is found out that she is pregnant, then the parental propriety of the offspring is established. Above all, the door of reconciliation remains open. If there is real love between them, the husband can take the wife back before the expiry of iddat (prescribed period of waiting). Such a practical arrangement is not available in any religion except Islam.

The legal rights given to women by Islam brought a revolutionary change in human society for the first time. So far woman was a wicked creature, the agent of the devil, and therefore was treated like a chattel, occupying the lowest position in the family and community. Islam gave women an honourable status, similar to men. It was a dynamic change, unknown to history, because it was never even considered, in pre-lslamic period, that women could have rights over men.

"But the men are a degree above women" refers to the natural differences which separate men from women. Allah is all-wise, therefore, particularly in the case of divorce, man can initiate the course of divorce, but a woman cannot. She, no doubt, can go to a qadi to obtain separation on the ground of unbearable maltreatment and demand dissolution of marriage by surrendering her right to mahar (dowry). This provision is reasonable because it prevents women from obtaining separation on flimsy grounds.

Islam gives women the right of choosing her life-partner. No one can compel her to accept any man as her husband. The matter lies entirely on her independent judgement. So she does not have the right to take the initiative for annulment of wedlock. Yet she has a recourse. She can go to a mujtahid or hakim sharah and obtain separation and then marry again whomsoever she likes.

Though woman was provided equal rights as that of man, her rights and duties differed from that of man. Man had different duties to perform when compared to that of woman. Allah did not differentiate between man and woman by doing so. He only divided the work between them for a healthy living. The duties of man and woman depended on their physical and psychological abilities.

But still Islam has been looked upon as orthodox religion and the modern woman felt proud of breaking the Islamic laws meant for her in the name of liberty and equality. Modern woman wishes to be masculine and do all the jobs a man does. How far is this Modern woman doing justice to herself by stepping out of the Islamic laws meant for her? Let us discuss.

It is the normal psychology of human that if u refrain him from doing a particular act he tends to do it with more intensity. The more u restrict the higher will be the degree of his performance. Now because woman was suppressed by man from ages, she felt that liberty is masculinity for her. Thus came the Modern Woman into the picture.

Modern woman feels proud to walk shoulder to shoulder with man. She has not left any area untouched. She boasts of performing all the acts a man does. But are the problems she faces in due course negligible in front of the success she attained or is it vice versa?

We will understand this well when we discuss the following problems faced by a modern woman.
· Health
· Family life
· Sexual harassment

HEALTH

In her struggle to be like man, woman has attempted to be more masculine. She has started taking part in sports, joined the defense system of her country. She has not refrained herself from doing any job a man does. But has this attempt proved to be a healthy one. Study shows that women's involvement in competitive sports does carry special health concerns. Women athletes are four to six times more likely to injure the anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) of the knee than men, especially women who play soccer and basketball. Stress fractures of the pelvis, hip, leg and foot are more common among women. Women athletes can also experience more leg and knee pain, stress incontinence and iron deficiency than men.
Not just this woman working shoulder to shoulder with men also had to face many health problems. The Injury and Illness Among Air Force Female Military Recruits study was conducted by Battelle Memorial Institute (BMT) for the US Air Force Office for Prevention and Health Services Assessment (OPHSA) and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention between October 1994 and June 1995. Each year, over 35,000 young men and women undergo six weeks of basic military training (BMT) at Lackland Air Force Base, Texas, soon after enlisting in the US Air Force (USAF). Anecdotal evidence from BMT training staff and medical personnel, along with published reports from other branches of the military, indicate that female recruits experience higher rates of injury, illness, and attrition than male recruits.
Mothers are the world’s best jugglers: family, work, money—they seem to do it all. However, all that responsibility can often leave moms feeling overstretched and stressed out. According to a 2006 survey by the American Psychological Association (APA), women are more affected by stress than men and report engaging in unhealthy behaviors such as comfort eating, poor diet choices, smoking, and inactivity to help deal with stress. The same survey showed women report feeling the effects of stress on their physical health more than men.

FAMILY LIFE.
Pleck said in 1977: men’s work spills over into their family life, women’s family obligations spill over into their work.
Around one in 10 working mothers feel guilty about their childcare arrangements - whatever those arrangements may be - when their child is sick.
Anke Merz left her job as a global brand manager at Procter & Gamble in London in December 2002 after seven years with the company. She loved the work but wanted to return home to Germany to be closer to her husband, who had remained there while she spent more than three years abroad. Thirteen months later, in January 2004, Merz gave birth to a son, Alexander, and chose to be a stay-at-home mother for a time. Merz, 38, says she plans on returning to work at some point, although she knows this won't be easy.It is not that it will be hard to find a full-time position given her work experience; rather, Merz would be hard-pressed to find facilities to take care of Alexander, now 3, while she holds a demanding job that requires flexibility and frequent travel.

It is the unusual woman who successfully applies her skills and talents at home and in the working world. In too many cases, the home and children appear to be neglected. Physical neglect is obvious, but emotional neglect is not too clearly defined. In the book Sex, Career, & Family by Michael Fogarty, Rhona Rapaport an Robert Rapaport, many women who dislike children and housework but through choice or circumstances stay home inflict deep emotional damage on their children. On the other hand, mothers who are happy create happy homes and children, whether they work or not. Two-career families may have children, but they do not build their whole lives around them. They are not as involved with their families as women who stay at home. As referenced in Sex, Career & Family, a study was done of 15,000 women three years after their graduation. These women had planned careers for themselves. It was found that the career-committed didn't want as many children, on the average, as the homemakers. They were also more willing to let others care for their children. In two-career homes, the babies do not come all at once at the beginning of the marriage, but in phases with the wife's work commitments. The environment of two-career homes molds the character of children in a different way than homes where mothers do most of the rearing. Mother-child relationships are less emotional. Parents seem to have more rights, particularly rights to privacy and a shared adult life. Many sociologist feel that wives in two-career families are more interested in a relationship with their husbands than in the homemaking women, who tend to seek their major satisfaction from their children.
Some sociologist say an educated woman has three main outlets for her energies, ambition, and involvement. She can express herself through her own career, involvement in her husband's career, or through her children. Most pour much of their energies into their own careers, although many rear children and help their husbands. In contrast, most women who stay home devote their time and energies in promoting their husband's career and are deeply involved in child care and child-rearing.
Of course you may say that we have many day care centers to look after our children. But children left in day care centers are more attached to their day care providers than to their mothers.

SEXUAL HARRASSMENT.
It is an evident fact that woman at work places are subject to sexual harassment around the world. This is a global problem but still modern woman tends to neglect this fact.
Here are the statistics which show the frequency of sexual harassment at workplaces.
· 4 out of 5 students (81%) have experienced some form of sexual harassment during their school lives. (Hostile Hallways, American Association of University Women 1993).
· There were 6,127 complaints of sexual harassment filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) in 1990. 15,342 complaints were filed with the EEOC in 1996. This represents an increase of 280% in the last six years. (EEOC Sexual Harassment Statistics, EEOC & FEPAs Combined: FY 1990 - FY 1996).
· Women are nine times more likely than men to quit jobs because of sexual harassment, five times more likely to transfer and three times more likely to lose jobs. (“Impact of Work Experiences Toward Sexual Harassment”, Allison M. Konrad and Barbara A. Gutek, in Administrative Science Quarterly, Vol. 31, September 1986).
· In a content analysis of 48 hours of prime time television programs, findings suggest that sexual harassment is prevalent within this medium. Overall, 84% of the shows studied contained at least one incident of sexual harassment or sexually offensive behavior, with an average of 3.4 incidents. In none of these programs was the behavior specifically labeled as sexual harassment. The manner in which sexual harassment is portrayed on prime time television implies that such actions are not serious, that victims are not seriously affected by the harassment, and that harassment can be prevented if victims would resist. resist (“Prime Time Sexual Harassment”, Elizabeth Grauerholz and Amy King, in Violence Against Women, Vol 3, No 2, April 1997, Sage Periodicals Press).
· In a study of 2,000 female students, 89% reported experiencing inappropriate sexual comments, gestures and looks; 83% were touched, grabbed or pinched; 40% reported these incidents occurred daily at school. (Secrets in Public: Sexual Harassment in Our Schools, Nan Stein, et al., Center for Research on Women, Wellesley College and NOW Legal Defense and Education Fund, 1993).
· Nearly half of the 832 working women in researcher Barbara Guteck's 1985 study said they had been harassed. None took any legal action. Only 22% told anybody about the harassment. (The 9to5 Guide to Combating Sexual Harassment, Ellen Bravo and Ellen Cassedy. New York: John Wiley and Sons, 1992).
· In a 1994 survey of federal workers, 44% of women and 19% of men reported they experienced some form of unwanted sexual attention within the preceding two years. (Sexual Harassment in the Federal Workplace, the U.S. Merit Systems Protections Board’s report to the President and Congress, 1995). Only 6% of those experiencing sexual harassment took formal action. The most common reason given by those who did not take formal action was they did not think the situation was serious enough to warrant it.
· Sexual harassment in the federal workplace cost the government an estimated $327 million during the two-year period from April 1992 to April 1994. (U.S. Merit Systems Protection Board, 1995).

· Overall, 70.9 percent of active-duty women reported experiencing some type of sexually harassing behavior in the 12 months prior to the survey conducted in the U.S. military.


CONCLUSION

Before concluding here is a hadith about Asma binthe Yazid Ansari.
Asma, the daughter of Yazid Ansari, was selected by the women of Madinah as their representative to go to the Holy Prophet to tell him of the complaints of the women of Madinah and receive his answer. When Asma entered, the Holy Prophet was seated among a group of the Companions. She said, "May my mother and father be sacrificed for you. I am the representative of the women of Madinah to you. We women say that God almighty sent you as a Prophet to both men and women. You are not just the Prophet of the men. We women also found faith in you and God Almighty. We women sit in our homes meeting the sexual needs of men. We nourish your children in our wombs but we see that all of the sacred duties, great and valuable deeds which are regarded by God, are given to men alone and we are deprived. Men are allowed to gather together. They visit the sick. They participate in funeral processions. They repeatedly perform the Hajj rituals and above everything else, they are allowed to participate in the jihad in God's Way. Whereas when a man goes on the hajj or the jihad, it is we women who stay behind and protect his poverty. We weave cloth for his clothes. We train his children. How is it that we are partners of you men in difficult tasks but when it comes to sacred duties and deeds for which God gives spiritual reward, we are not partners and we are deprived of all of them?

"The Holy Prophet looked at the Companions and asked, 'Have you ever heard a woman speak so well, so logically and so clearly about religious affairs?'

'The Holy Prophet, turned to Asma and said, Woman! Try to understand what you are saying and explain to the women who sent you. Do you think that every man receives spiritual rewards and virtues for doing these things and women are deprived of them? No. This is not so. If a woman takes good care of her family and husband and does not allow the pure environment of her home to become polluted by the dust of darkness, she will receive spiritual rewards, virtues and successes equivalent to all of the work that men do.' "

Asma was a woman of faith. Her requests and those of the women who thought like her came from the depths of their faith, not out of lust or greed which we most often see today. She and the women who sent her were concerned that perhaps the duties which they performed had no value and that all of the sacred duties were particular to men. She and the women she represented wanted equality, but in what? In implementing the Divine commands and carrying out their religious duties. That which never entered their minds was a confrontation to gain individual egotistical desires in the name of a 'right'. Thus when she heard the response of the Holy Prophet, her face lighted up with pleasure and she returned in great happiness to her friends. (Asal al‑ghabah, vol. 5, pp. 338‑399)

Thus I feel it is better for a woman to refer the Holy Quran and The prophet’s sayings before she leaves the house in the name of social liberty and equality.

………….. And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise. – 2:228.

Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.- 4:34.

At a certain stage, there was some disagreement between Fatimah, the Prophet’s daughter and her husband, Ali who was the Prophet’s cousin. They presented their case before him, requesting him to define their responsibilities for them. The Prophet (Pbuh) said to his daughter; “You do the work that must be done inside the home, and he does what needs to be done outside.” This division of the family work is both fair and practical.

Now it is evident that the duties of men and women are well defined in Islam. Islam has framed certain rules for woman to follow which are in proportionate to her physical, mental and psychological abilities. Woman is not forced to stay at home. She can step out of her house and earn a living just as men do but she needs to perform her job keeping the Islamic laws in mind.
She needs to observe purdah even when at work or better she works in a woman’s organization where interaction with males is negligible. She needs to understand that her husband and children are her first priority.

Woman is still struggling without success to attain the so called status – “equal to man” . I believe her true success is in understanding the fact that she is different from man and her duties and responsibilities are different when compared to man. Woman can succeed only when she learns to live like her own self and enjoy womanhood rather than cursing herself to be a woman and struggling to be like man.

THEN I WAS GUIDED in search of true Islam. (review)

Then I was guided is an eye opening work by Dr. Mohammed Al-Tijani Al-Samawi. Mr Tijani hailed from Africa. He was born to a sunni-maliki family.
This book describes Mr Tijani's journey from a sunni family towards the right path- the Siratulmustaqueem. Mr Tijani showed lot of interest in Islamic studies. He was appreciated by the people around him.
In this book Mr Tijani describes his personal experiences with the people of different sects of Islam around the world. He explains how he explored the right path and how much difficulty he faced in adhering to the right path. He describes his journey as a maliki to sufism, wahabism and finally his destination the right path. Me Tijani was very much convinced by the sufi faith at one time and wahabi faith at another time but when he compared both the ideologies it multiplied his confusion as to he was not able to decide where to go.
His confusion ended when he finally met a shia guy who befriended him and here started his journey towards the right path. He describes how he was shocked to see all the myths, which were nursed in his hearts for years, go absolutely wrong after meeting this guy.This friend of Mr Tijani not only invited him to his house but aslo introduced him to scholars like Al-Sayyid al-Khu'i and Sayyid Muhammad Baqir al Sadr who helped him in finding the right path through discussions and by gifting him all relevant book on Islam.
In the next part of the book Mr Tijani writes about his study and research to find the right path. In this book he presents all the astonishing facts about the so called loyal companions of the prophet. He tells about the true successor of the prophet by mentioning the authentic evidences both from Quran and Sunnah.
Mr Tijani has put forward his argument regarding the right path by mentioning evidences in Quran and by Prophetic traditions.
As a conclusion he tells us how he prevented a married couple, who were breast fed by the same lady, from being ruined, with the help of the right path.
Concludingly I will say that this is a must read book for muslims of all sects as this will enlighten their minds and help them in being close to Allah by attaining the right path.
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